Monday, February 6, 2012

This was written on the 31st of January 2012

How is me today?
Fine. Thank you.
Fine eyh? Why are you wearing a frown then?
:’(

                I don’t know what to think or do or even how to pretend anymore.
I try looking at myself, my problems from the point of view of an outsider.
a)      Those who just knew me – “Poor you. Please get a proper medication and take a rest yah.”
b)      Those who knew me less than 3 years –“Think positive mang!! You wouldn’t want to be labelled as a complainer. The whining will charge up the negative energy. You will never get out of that rut ya hear?!.” (exaggerated a bit lah here)
c)       Those who knew me for more than 15years – “Please get a second opinion. You can’t stick to one or two doctors.”
d)      Those who really know me and are families – “There is this one ustaz….blah blah blah..”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

A few minutes ago (now is 12.10pm) I almost hit my head on the class whiteboard. I intended to keep on hitting until I pass out. One wrong move of those near to me..I might just throw in a few slashes on the wrist.
                                                                                *Restless*

This crawling pain that runs along the sinus area is driving me up the wall. Dah berkantung dah obat dik nonsss!!! There are too many medicines that I could do my own catalogue entry of these antihistamines and steroids.

I would love to end this piece with motivating words or even a quip (to me self). I just can't.